That’s it. I’m going on a diet! I tried to jump from the floor to the top of my cat tower, and I fell flat on my butt. Nope. I didn’t even land on my feet! I guess that’s how fat I am now. Mom might have some of the best female fat burner, but I doubt she has anything for males, especially male kittehs. Maybe I need to get something from the vet man to help me lose all my fat. I love to eat too much to eat less, and I’m too lazy to exercise. Maybe the vet man can give me something that will melt the fat away.

…or maybe Mom can buy me a shorter cat tree so I don’t have to jump so far.  I’m a genius!

I don’t know what Bubba ate, but boy did it make him sick. He puked in the bathroom, and he had the runs all over the kitchen this morning. I guess if he stays sick he won’t need any weight loss diet supplements to lose all that weight he’s piled on eating so much.

I guess that’s what he gets for knocking the trash can over and eating something out of it while Mom and Dad weren’t home. I tried to warn him, but he didn’t listen. He was bullheaded as always. Maybe that’s why they call him a bulldog?

How much does a funeral cost because I so want to kill Bubba right now! This morning Mom gave me my kitteh treats. She put them on the counter so Bubba couldn’t reach them. I decided they looked like they needed to be knocked around a bit first because they’re shaped like fish, so I batted them around a bit. I accidentally knocked them off the counter, and Bubba ate them! That was the last of my kitteh treats in the bag, too! I can’t have more until Mom goes to the store! Dang that Bubba!

I think everybody in our house is having a bad day today.  I’ve been trying to hack up this hairball all day, and I finally got it up, but that’s the least of my worries.  I fell off the kitchen counter twice!  I don’t know what’s up with me, but my cat skills are NOT working today.  I landed on my back both times.

Then I heard Dad complaining because Bubba’s all up in his way. He was trying to change the Refrigerator water filter, and Bubba kept sticking his nose in Dad’s business. Dad didn’t know he was there, and he tripped over Bubba. I think he’s ok because his face broke his fall.

Little Sister doesn’t feel good either. Mom said she’s teething, so that explains why she’s been crying a lot today. Mom gave her some gel stuff that helped for a little while, but she started crying again. She’s asleep right now, so we finally get a little quiet time.

Oh noez!  Bubba was right!  I am getting super fat, and if I don’t do something quick I’m going to be as big as a house! I didn’t realize it ’til today when I was sitting on Mom’s scales in the bathroom.  I was just sitting there minding my own business cleaning myself…then I looked down.  That thing said 16lbs!  Since when did I get to 16lbs?  Last time I went to the vet I was only 9lbs!  I can’t believe I got that fat.

Mom has some of that cream that claims to be a cellulite cure, so maybe I should use that. It might help me out some. Then when I get rid of all this cellulite in my butt I can use her wrinkle cream to tighten my skin back up? No? Sounded good to me!